You fell in love with the person that makes you very happy and want to be there for you forever. You get married. Marriage is a wonderful thing but it does take work. The “work” part is keeping the marriage strong when circumstances come and shake the marriage.

Protecting a marriage may be difficult if only one person is doing something. Protecting a marriage is much easier when two people are working on the marriage.

Marriage can be related to a garden. In your marriage garden, there are many beautiful things such as fruit trees, flowers, and bushes but those things do not always start out like that, or stay that way.

A strong marriage begins with a solid foundation. The soil for growth must be moist, have nutrients and to be firm. Dating helps lay the foundation for a healthy marriage. Learning to work things out, communicating your thoughts and feelings and having fun with each other helps deepen the soil.

When marriages are built on a rocky soil, more arguements than love, the foundation can crumble at any little thing. With good soil, marriages can grow, even when storms come, marriage will continue to grow.

Marriage needs to be watered daily. To “water” a marriage, both spouses need to add affection, spending time together, support for one another and laughter. These things can also be known as “seeds”.
Planting seeds of tenderness, compassion, good communication and affection will help the marriage grow strong. Learning new things together, appreciate each other’s differences can also help the marriage grow strong. Watering the seeds daily with acts of kindness, love, attention and time will also help the marriage grow.

Gardens have bushes. Bushes provide a barrier around the garden so the garden can be protected from outside circumstances that may harm the garden.

Marriages also need bushes to protect the marriage from outside circumstances.

Bushes can be used to: protect your time with your spouse. When you have a date night with your spouse, making sure that nothing gets in the way of that date night (unless an absolute emergency) is a bush. Another bush is protecting your love for your spouse. Not allowing other people to come between you and your spouse to cause doubt or concern is a bush. Reminding your spouse that he/she is #1 in your life will help strengthen your marriage.

Having a bush around family time will help strengthen your marriage. It will also show your children that family time is important which helps your children feel safe and secure when storms come.

Both spouses must also make sure that no “weeds” come into the marriage. “Weeds” can be: other priorities or commitments that seem more important than the marriage, doubt, fear, resentment, bitterness, lack of time together, other peoples’ problems and laziness.

When “weeds” begin to arise, pluck them out!! Pluck the weed out from the root. If a spouse has caused hurt by forgetting a special day or appointment, it must be communicated and resolved before the “weed” gets bigger and becomes its own flower. You may want to add more water or forgiveness, time together, love and see where or why this “weed” came in, so it does not happen again.

A big “weed” that has blossomed into its own flower could be an affair. An affair is the result of many “weeds” that overcame your marriage garden.

A marriage can overcome an affair but it will take time to get the “weed” out. Allow healing and restoring the garden to where it was before the “weed” will help the marriage grow stronger. Having solutions to clear out all “weeds” and a plan will help future “weeds” from coming in and overtaking the marriage garden. This may take many “gardeners”: counselors, healthy family and friend support and better communication. The marriage can regrow!

Just like cultivating a garden in your backyard to make sure it is beautiful, takes work. So does your marriage.

So remember:
1. Good soil is needed for a healthy marriage
2. Seeds of love, acceptance, time, tenderness, etc is needed.
3. Water daily
4. Plant bushes to protect your marriage garden
5. Attack the weeds as soon as they come
6. Get another “gardener” (counselor) if you need to.

Cultivate your marriage garden daily and it will blossom.