Every parent wants their teenager to listen to them. Some of the ways that a parent goes about it produces the opposite affect. The three main ways are: nagging, insight and nagging.

Nagging, for a teen, is the ultimate turn off. Parents do not see it as nagging because parents have a great way to reframe and rationalize that their nagging is really reminding the teen of what to do. Well, to a teen, the more reminding is nagging. Teens’ faces may go blank, they may appear to be listening but are really not. They are hearing Charlie Brown’s mom’s voice: WAH, WAH, WAH.

Make what you say to your teen short and sweet. Allow them to do what is being asked. Balance.

Insight is helpful but to a teenager it appears as nagging. Not all teens are in tune for insight and for those that do not want anymore insight will be heard as nagging. So, save the insight for the time where you and your teen are just hanging out, where nothing really serious is going on and you guys can just talk. LISTEN to what they are saying. It’s okay to not always give your teen advice. They are able to do things without being told several times.

Nagging, yes, it was briefly addressed but just like a teen, a parent may need to be told to NOT NAG again.

Take time to listen to your teen and demonstrate to them how you would like them to listen. Remember that your teen is capable of getting things done and even though it is not on your schedule, they will get the things done. Balance and negotiate which also helps the communication lines and let your teen express his ideas.