Marriage is a multitude of things: bumpy, scary, difficult, fun, long, boring, and another bunch of adjectives that a person can give. Marriage and life together can be very stressful too, with kids, jobs, friends, economy and other life events that there is no control over.

Keeping a marriage together through difficult times can be challenging but when a couple knows how to play with each other, that can help reduce stress, keep love alive and continue to demonstrate to their kids and family that they (the couple) can still be friends and lovers through tough times.

1. Write love notes to each other. This can help the love feel alive when things aren’t always going so smoothly with the family. Love notes can remind one another about how special they are, what they like most about each other and can strengthen the bond between the couple.

2. Flirt! Flirting can also be very helpful to keep the fires burning in a marriage. Flirting does not stop after dating but sometimes it dies down because of the kids, jobs, tiredness and other stressors. Flirting reminds the other again of how special they are and can help increase the intimacy between you and your spouse if sex is not happening.

3. Have a pillow fight! This is fun, exciting, and even the kids can get involved. Rules may first need to be established so it can still be playful and when a person says STOP, then that needs to be respected. Pillow fights can release a lot of tension in a fun and light hearted way as well as enhance some “get it on” desires so that more intimacy can happen.

Life is about balance and within the marriage, sometimes that fun and playfulness is lost or hidden from the pressures that the couple feels. Play keeps the couple alive because life is not all about work. Playfulness helps the kids to know that life can still be fun even if there are stressful times.

Enjoy your spouse and have fun!